As I sit here in my room, desperation and anxiety is written all over my face. Today is my last day of being free, I have had a "wonderful" 12 day vacation away from the stress and negativity that surrounds me on a daily basis, and it is all coming to an end. I am having Sunday night anxiety on a Monday. I really don't want to go in tomorrow and face these phony, fake, backstabbing hussies/hustlers that are pretty much comparable to a dementor from Harry Potter. They suck the life right out of you. There is no alternative, I have tried to find another job and we all know this is not easy. I've sent resumes after resumes to no avail. I did get a call back but unfortunately they needed me to live closer to their area and that was a no go. I also did get a 2nd interview from the city. I thought, "wow the city, awesome benefits great hours, all holidays off, even your birthday!" , but in the end I bombed the second interview only to realize I really didn't want the position and it would have been a major pay-cut. Companies really need to come up with different questions when interviewing, seriously it's the same crap "Where do you see yourself in 5 years, why do you want to work here?" , of course my inside voice says something like "here bitch, that's why I applied right?!". They also asked me if I could go back to school what area would I earn a degree in, I of course panicked and said linguistics/dialects.. uhh, yeah linguistics/dialects.. seriously, what in the hell am I gonna do with linguistics/dialects in an admin position. Maybe entertain the boss and say in an Irish accent "Top of the mornin' to ya lad". Complete FAIL that interview, at least I laugh about it and I'm not beating myself up for it. Anyway, moving on...so I have tried to avoid any type of contact with people from the office with the exception of my good friend and spy. Apparently, the whole Boss situation is coming to a close and Boss B is gonna get the boot. So sad, justice will prevail.. eventually. Just makes me sick to my stomach, I really don't want to be put in the middle of that mess which is why I'm not too keen on going back. Ok , enough office talk.
I had a good holiday, went to a nice tropical location, avoided the jungle rebels as my friend puts it and now I'm back here. I didn't find myself, didn't find a damn thing, it was all avoidance. So many things to tackle and I think I have a grip on things, finally. I did a lot of reading and thinking and put a lot of things into perspective, of sorts anyway. So why the title? Well I thought it was appropriate. See, every day I'm going to try something new, even the most tiny insignificant thing, but just something new. I need to break out of this routine I'm in, working especially doing something you hate really voids ones humanity. I really don't want this to be one of "those" blogs, I'm doing this mostly for me. No one has read any of my entries and it's been about a year, so I think I'm safe. It's like being an exhibitionist with saggy tits, the kind that hang down by your ankles, people may stop and take a glance, but they always turn and run like hell.
The location in the picture does exist, I took the picture myself while I was laying in a hammock, surprised the bloody thing didn't collapse. If I close my eyes maybe I could teleport myself back there..nah, didn't work.
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